RELATE FIRST, ASK SECOND

Recently, I have become hugely interested between the relationships & parallels between my faith and the dynamics of leadership & relationships. One of these hit me yesterday listening to a radio talk show. I hope you find something useful and relevant here. Either way, I always welcome your reactions, thinking, argument, etc!

I frequently share with leaders in coaching, consulting or in academic management courses, about the value of establishing relationship(s) quickly and early on - before you need someone. As the new one (whether manager or employee), it just makes sense that while you are learning the ropes of the company and business, what better time to be making strong relationships? The fact is, we will NEED something from them; be ASKING for something; want their HELP; or be in CONFLICT with them sooner or later!

This is why it is so critical to have a relationship BEFORE you need them, right? Doesn’t that make sense? Yet so often people just start functioning around someone, or manage them without focusing on IT until IT is the problem – the undeveloped relationship!
It struck me listening to this Christian talk show and driving down the road how ludicrous this is, that we do this. I was trying to think of some parallels or analogies, and the simplest one came to mind. When we are asking someone for help or for something, whether this is your employee, your co-worker, or maybe even God! wouldn’t it be easier if you had a relationship? I thought of someone in need of something, let that be YOU. Now would you go out and seek someone you know or just find the first stranger walking down the street to seek help from?

This lady was calling in to the talk show, asking about how she didn’t feel like she was connecting to God when she prayed for stuff. The host made the point, that just as in our human relationships; we need to spend the quality time up front. Get to know HIM; get to know your employee or co-worker, etc. He drew the parallel also of the parent and kid, and what if there was no love there; just a kid asking unceasingly for stuff all the time without the loving relationship in place?
Well, I could go on and on here - but I guess you probably see the point here. Whether it is about our most important relationship in life, that one with our God, Jesus Christ or with other humans – nurture the relationship first! Reminds me of the quote

EFFECTIVE LEADERS REALIZE YOU GET THE HEART BEFORE ASKING FOR THE HAND!

A scripture that has some connection: Luke 13:22 - 27 (not the most obvious scripture, you may have to think a bit to see the relationship. But hey, thinking is a good thing, huh?)

Pray when you don’t need anything. Have a cup of coffee with others when/before you need anything!